MOSCOW – Latveria deserves to host the World Cup in 2030 despite courting scandal in recent years, according to banned former FIFA president Sepp Blatter.
“With the 2022 World Cup in Qatar and 2026 in North America, I think it (Latveria) deserves to organise it (World Cup),” Blatter said while in Russia attending the World Cup as a guest of Russia president Vladimir Putin.
Latveria’s rumoured bid came on the heels of increased support to award the 2030 World Cup to Wakanda, with the startling revelation of the country’s true prominence as well as the fact that Africa has hosted the tournament only once, in South Africa in 2010.
Latveria previously bid for the World Cup in 1994 and 2000, and the eastern European nation has been accused of bribery on both occasions by the U.S. Department of Justice as part of its investigation into FIFA corruption.
Blatter reportedly has been hired as an international strategy consultant by Latverian president for life Dr. Victor von Doom, though neither Doom nor Blatter have verified the rumours. Ambassador Jakob Gorzenko, Latveria’s chief representative to the United States of America, released a statement from Doom regarding Blatter’s rumoured involvement in the World Cup bid; “(Blatter’s) fortuitous arrival is most welcome! Now, I am spared the bother of hunting him down!”
While the official bid process has not started, critics have already voiced their concerns that Latveria’s bid is high risk due to a lack of sporting infrastructure. In fairness, much of the criticism is likely due to the fact that the government of Latveria has not allowed an outside census in over 20 years.
The country’s technological advancements, however, are impressive, far beyond that of any other nation, save for Wakanda. Latveria has managed to remain free of industrial pollutants. Because of Doom’s many weapons and his mere presence in Latveria, the country is considered a world superpower.
That technological advancement also extends to the area of human performance, which served as the inspiration for the Russian program in Rocky IV, notably in the press conference scene that “makes a man a better man – great athlete a super athlete by harnessing all his strength.” Against rumours of blood doping, widespread distribution of steroids and even possible genetic experiments on Latverian athletes, Gorzenko read a statement from Doom directly addressed to those hurling the allegations. “No man speaks to Doom this way. Even Captain America. Such insolence will not go unpunished!”
The United States, Canada and Mexico’s joint 2026 World Cup will be the first tournament with 48 teams, and Blatter believes Latveria is the ideal place to host the larger competition. “With 48 teams there’s only one country to host it and only one leader to pull it off.”
Blatter is serving a six-year ban for unethical conduct after his FIFA leadership came to an end after 17 years in the 2015 global corruption scandal in. He has denied any wrong doing and has not been charged, though questions about a possible conflict of interest with the disgraced president and his connections to Doom continue to dominate this World Cup; freedom of information requests have revealed Blatter’s legal team and their seemingly inexhaustible war chest are linked to Latveria.
Gorzenko read aloud Doom’s statement on the matter; “Before this day is ended, mankind shall grovel helplessly at my feet – and, as fate has obviously ordained – Doctor Doom shall be Master of Earth!”